Should I follow the rows or column? I have been staring at the ceiling the last 45 seconds trying to figure out how to start painting the ceiling? Wearing my blue outfit that I have just bought to work myself on my showroom, first job I was given it to paint the ceiling! So, I have decided to paint following the column, at the same time I was thinking this is actually cool, I am feeling myself meditating, thinking of many things all at once, my showroom, restaurant, how busy would it be when the house is full? Oh, live music is here, me welcoming some customers and running towards them with the menus, Sid, doing his silly dance with the band, Dimi busy at the kitchen, kids running around and Milko playing with his machine at his workshop. Lots of dreams as I was following the column to its end. Suddenly I feel giant drops of paint all over my face and jacket! Sid told me not worry about it, all what I need is to wash my face with water and it’s all gone. How would I know that, I have never did such a job, I continued paining the ceiling and thinking how I was just 2 years ago in my office as an officer, with a lot of employees reporting to me, in my uniform, with my rank I could do a lot. I was even getting a high salary compared to now, Nothing. I was in a total comfort zone, that I don’t miss at all, I am here in Moto Garage & Diner learning how to cut and oil wood, paint, and clean my own showroom. It is the rebuild of my career after the age of 40!
For the first time ever, after a big motorcycle adventure I don’t get that annoying mixed feeling when I am back home, I was looking forward for my big move and what I would call “reset” in career. I have spent the last 5 years travelling on my motorcycle to gain that knowledge and experience in order to call myself a professional motorcyclist. This move I made caused lots of confusion to all people surrounding me, who wants to leave this job? Rank? Comfort zone? Less working hours? High salary? And the leverage that military rank was giving me, all that I ditched for a job I have been dreaming of since few years ago, with a minimum salary of 1600 Euros per month! Is it worth it? Now I would say yes, but let us find out how it would look in few years. I won’t lie, 2019 is the most difficult and challenging year in my entire life, but I see lots of happiness, future and big dreams! It is like when you are sweating and suddenly you feel some cold breeze around but it’s still hot. I am aiming for that breeze and hopefully I will reach there.
I would be a liar if I said I am not scared of what is coming, especially when I look at my kids and watch them play around me with full happiness, will they still be able to be as happy? I have to fight for this. They are now my first priority, yes, I am not around, but yes, I am doing this for them. My parents were away for many years on a mission to make me wear best clothes and travel to great holidays. Some family members asked me whether I have regret what I have done and lots it all? Losing my job, pension etc? my answer was I have regret not doing so earlier, things would have been so different otherwise. I have spent years and years pleasing family, the society and the image I was supposed to be put in. it is time for me now and it is never late! The same person asked: what kind of joy would you get by suffering on a motorcycle every day for months? That question I could not transfer my feeling to him because simply he would never understand! But that moment I remembered when I was riding through Tibet in 2017 and was just crossing from west Tibet to the eastern part which is a bit more civilized that the western part. Here I felt I am reaching closer to the end of the silk road trip, it was around -1 degrees and had in my headphones ibrahem maalouf track playing “Red & Black Light” when I crossed some water, and found myself on the middle of a damn straight tarmac road, surrounded by mountains around me, I have checked the altitude on my tracker and I was on 4100 meters, the track got me excited and reminded me that I am almost over, I stood up while the bike was rolling, looked up and made the longest and loudest scream I have ever made, could be even longer than the cry I made when I was first born, well yes, I felt like a new born baby at that moment. I have decided to stop the bike on the middle of that straight road and imagined the whole band of Ibrahem maalouf were playing around me and I was waving and acting like their conductor! Bike engine was on, and completely ignored the road, although it was completely empty, I just wanted to enjoy the moment, until minutes later I have noticed a convoy of a Chinese military truck stopping on the middle of the road and God knows since when they were there! This is when I have decided to carry on after enjoying the session with Ibrahem Maalouf! Such moments I could not describe to people, even here saying it in words, I think I have transferred 10% of how it actually felt. Such moments made me realize what I am, what I want and what dream I should chase, such a moment was a step towards “thuraya”. Thuraya here I come!
Starting all new, from zero, building the big dream
moments after i played “the conductor” on the middle of the road. had to park on the side and continue enjoying the moment – Tibet 2017
